I, MAYOR WREN, formerly of Fart Town, HEREBY DECLARE QWEEF TOWN FREE AND INDEPENDENT OF ALL OTHER CITY GOVERNMENTS.

It is my fervent belief that every single individual on the planet should have their own personal nuclear bomb.

The "City Council" (or should I say "Shitty Council") of Fart Town have bureaucratically infringed upon my mayoral rights by ORDERING me to remove a message from the city's website advocating for my COMMON SENSE, REASONABLE proposal to raise funds for a nuclear research program.

Everyone should have a nuclear bomb. Who would be opposed to this goal? Someone who clearly wants YOU to not own your own personal nuclear bomb. But how is that fair, when THEY have a nuclear bomb? Or perhaps even several?

Let me make it clear: Qweef Town has only one goal: to ensure Nuclear Equality among all people. The path to this end is simple: raise enough money to obtain a nuclear bomb, and then DEMAND that all technological, scientific, and engineering effort be devoted to supplying every individual with their own personal nuclear bomb.

If you desire to support this Nuclear Alliance of Freedom and Equality, you can CONTRIBUTE to our nuclear research program funding.

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For any interested parties: while I have forfeited my ceremonial title as mayor of Fart Town and even though I no longer recognize the legitimacy of Fart Town as a city, I will complete my contracted term as webmaster. I am now mayor in perpetuity of Qweef Town.

- Mayor Wren